Leslyn's Lovely Life: June 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Story of Us- The one that's hard to write about.

Before I tell you this part of our story, I need you to know that I have been postponing this for weeks, simply because I've been trying to figure out the best way to write about it. So I've decided to only share a certain facet of it. If you're one of my close friends, you know that there is more to this. ;)

When you're in a relationship with someone, you're supposed to get in arguments- you should be comfortable enough around each other to be your true self. Well, with DJ and I, we NEVER got in an argument- I tried to stay calm and under control when he would push my buttons (and did he EVER push my buttons). I didn't want to scare him off by reacting the way I really wanted to. After 9 months of no fighting, and having fun, we realized that we were at a crossroads. Our relationship didn't have much depth at all, and after almost a year, it should have had SOME depth. So, without giving you all of the gory details (that's the whole "sharing a certain facet" thing), we broke up. We both cried. It was just plain awful. I didn't sleep, could barely eat, and was miserable. The thing is that I KNEW that we were supposed to be together. It just didn't make sense.

We didn't speak for almost two months. We saw each other on campus occasionally, and it was super awkward. The night before classes started, he told me that he wanted to get back together, and I told him that I wasn't so sure. So then we didn't talk again. It was so frustrating when we kept on running into each other (oh, the joys of going to a small school). Eventually, I couldn't handle it anymore. So I texted him, and asked him if he would meet me in the parking lot. I looked him in the eye, and told him (and lied): "Look, I don't ever want to date you. But seriously, you were my best friend, and our friendship was too good to let go. Can we just be friends, without worrying about getting back together again?" He said yes.

So then, when we bumped into each other, it wasn't so awkward anymore. We would occasionally spend 10-15 minutes with each other, but besides that, there was nothing else going on. I felt ahuge sense of relief, simply because I didn't feel this anxiety every day about running into him- it wasn't that big of a deal.

He came to my senior recital (his sweet grandma drove up too! It made my day!), and afterwards he took me to Sonic as my post-recital present... His mom called to see how it went, and he told her that I was absolutely beautiful, and that I never sounded better. That's kinda weird when your friend-turned-boyfriend-turned-ex-boyfriend-turned-friend-again says that. But I tried not to think anything of it.

I should have known what was coming next...

And you'll find out what that was next week.

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