"You're going to need to start fertility treatment if you want to get pregnant."
I sat in shock at the doctor's office this summer. Some weird stuff was going on, and I figured I should go in to find out what was wrong. After all, DJ and I were ready to start a family. Never in a million years would I have thought that we would be dealing with infertility.
I told my doctor I needed to talk to my husband about it before we made the decision to start the fertility treatment. We prayed about it, talked it through, and didn't feel a peace about it. The more we talked about it, the more we thought "God is bigger than this problem. If it is in His will for us to have a baby the traditional way, it will happen." We knew that we wouldn't be without a family forever. We have both always felt called to adopt, so we began talking about our options.
Month after month, I took a pregnancy test, and it was always negative. I felt disappointed, hurt, alone, and I questioned our decision to forego the treatment.
Fast forward to my birthday, November 9th. I had been sick in the few days leading up to it, so I had been feeling weird anyways. The morning of my birthday, my husband told me to use the Neti Pot. I made sure we filtered the water (because Mom sent me an article about people dying of a brain eating amoeba, all because they used bad water in their Neti Pot. Thanks, Mom). Then we went about our day, celebrating my 26th birthday. We were having such a blast. Then, my head started hurting and I felt funny. I lost my appetite. I thought "This is it. I'm going to die on my birthday because of a brain eating amoeba." Again, thanks Mom. We went to Wal-Mart to buy groceries for my birthday dinner, and as DJ was checking out, and I said "I'm just going to get a test." The whole time, I'm thinking "Leslyn, you're stupid for wanting yourself to feel disappointed on your birthday. You JUST took a test a week and a half ago. And it was negative. It's going to be negative, like it always is."Apparently, as my husband later told me, he was thinking something along those lines as well.
We checked out, went home. I took the test. It was positive.
My heart started pounding uncontrollably. I fumbled to find the "instructions" from the test
(because every test is different)- and mine was DEFINITELY positive. I grabbed the test, ran into the dining room where DJ was standing.
We both FLIPPED OUT. I cried like a baby, we hugged, it was just great. I drank two more giant glasses of water so I could take the second one.
It was positive too.
We went to Target to grab another test, just to make sure that we weren't losing our minds.
And y'all… It was positive too.
Those months of waiting were some of the most challenging months for me- trying to remember God's goodness through it all, waiting on Him, trusting in Him… It was not easy at all. But looking back on it, God waited until the perfect moment. It was the best birthday present. Oh… and get this… The baby is due on DJ's birthday. :)
I can't begin to describe to you how thankful I am that God gave us this little blessing
To my amazing friends who have been trying for a baby, or who can't have children- I love you. I am praying for you. I know how difficult it is to see that negative pregnancy test over and over again. I know how hard it is to be completely happy for friends who announce they're having a baby. Up until last month, that was me. Please know that I am praying diligently for you every day, sister. God is good, His plan is perfect.